What IS gaslighting? One of the most devastating tactics used by narcissists is gaslighting and it is something that, unless one has actually experienced it, is difficult to comprehend.This is my fourth blog about relationships with people with narcissistic personalities. My previous blogs have looked at some of the characteristics…
This is my third blog looking at the difficult question of dealing with a narcissist. This one focusses on the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships. Clients have often described quite lengthy periods of being happy with their partner at the beginning of a relationship. Things may deteriorate gradually or…
This is my second blog looking at the difficult question of dealing with a narcissist, whether a partner, family member or in the workplace. (The previous blog is here) Unfortunately, what tends to happen is that we soon learn that to achieve any peace in the relationship, we have to…
What is a narcissist? My previous two blogs looked at some general strategies for effectively handling conflict or uncomfortable situations. However, there are some individuals who, it seems, take difficult behaviour to a whole new level. The term “narcissist” is used far too much these days – we use it…
This is part two of how to deal with someone else's difficult behaviour, taking some advice from professional crisis intervention teams (who work in the fields of health care, law enforcement etc). They use particular tactics to deal with difficult people and it is well worth learning these and keeping…
How do you deal with someone else's difficult behaviour ? What do you do when things go wrong? Looking for support around managing relationships is one of the most common reasons people come to counselling. Humans are social animals so if one or more of our relationships is going through…
These are unprecedented times and every one of us is reeling from the events of the last week or so and finding helpful sources of information about how to mind ourselves is vital. These are three pieces of information that I have found useful - from the HSE, the BBC…
My previous blog about addiction looked at the role our brain plays in both sustaining and beating addiction. Our rational mind may really want to overcome a particular behaviour but using reason and sheer willpower is not usually enough - when clients come to me looking for help with overcoming…
People are much more likely to get caught up in addiction when important emotional needs cease to be met, perhaps because of loss, caused by the death of someone that we were very close to, a relationship ending, redundancy or illness, or by dissatisfaction arising from boredom or feeling trapped.…
This article looks at the topic of addiction and self sabotage but self sabotage is by no means only linked to giving up an addiction. We all self sabotage at times! What is self sabotage? Self sabotage has been defined as “the gap between intention and action”. We make an…
When a client comes to me looking for some help in overcoming addiction, whether it's to smoking, alcohol or drugs, or indeed any other type of addiction, I always spend some time explaining the role that our brains have in addiction. Having a basic knowledge of addiction and the brain…
This is the first of a series of blogs about overcoming addiction. Addiction spreads to every kind of pleasurable behaviour: drinking, cigarettes, drugs both legal and illegal, gambling, internet, sex, food, even exercise and shopping. Some activities or substances can generate a feeling that is so powerful that life without…