This is the second blog in a series about families and looks at the signs of a toxic family. When people first come to counselling, they often find it hard to talk about their family in a critical way. It can bring up great feelings of guilt or sadness. But…
A Perfect Family? What do people mean when they say they have a toxic family ? Toxic families tend to have well-established patterns of bullying, discrimination, manipulation, even physical, emotional or verbal abuse. The dynamics of a toxic family affect most of its members, making their lives miserable. Family shapes…
This blog looks at the characteristics of a narcissistic parent. As I said in my previous blog, our parents are the foundation of our first attachment to the world. As infants, we learn by their example how to bond with others. We derive our initial sense of our self-worth from…
Was it really like that? What is a narcissistic parent? How can it affect a child growing up in a home with a narcissist parent? Sometimes when clients talk to me about their childhoods, they are aware that for various reasons, their parents and their home environment were different to…
This blog looks at the challenging topic of dealing with a narcissistic boss. Many managers can be demanding and difficult at times but a true narcissist has behaviour traits that do not change and can make your working life a nightmare. Working under a boss who is unpredictable, self-centred, and…
The effects of having a narcissistic boss Narcissism, or Narcissistic Personality Disorder, can be almost as hard to deal with in the workplace as it is in personal relationships. Not only are you forced into close contact with your boss every day, but you are also dependent on him or…
What IS gaslighting? One of the most devastating tactics used by narcissists is gaslighting and it is something that, unless one has actually experienced it, is difficult to comprehend.This is my fourth blog about relationships with people with narcissistic personalities. My previous blogs have looked at some of the characteristics…
This is my third blog looking at the difficult question of dealing with a narcissist. This one focusses on the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships. Clients have often described quite lengthy periods of being happy with their partner at the beginning of a relationship. Things may deteriorate gradually or…
This is my second blog looking at the difficult question of dealing with a narcissist, whether a partner, family member or in the workplace. (The previous blog is here) Unfortunately, what tends to happen is that we soon learn that to achieve any peace in the relationship, we have to…
What is a narcissist? My previous two blogs looked at some general strategies for effectively handling conflict or uncomfortable situations. However, there are some individuals who, it seems, take difficult behaviour to a whole new level. The term “narcissist” is used far too much these days – we use it…
This is part two of how to deal with someone else's difficult behaviour, taking some advice from professional crisis intervention teams (who work in the fields of health care, law enforcement etc). They use particular tactics to deal with difficult people and it is well worth learning these and keeping…
How do you deal with someone else's difficult behaviour ? What do you do when things go wrong? Looking for support around managing relationships is one of the most common reasons people come to counselling. Humans are social animals so if one or more of our relationships is going through…