Head vs heart

What does it mean to live from the heart? I know it may sound a little corny, but most of the time, we are so caught up in what’s going on in our heads that we forget about our emotional selves. And that can cause us to be stopped in our tracks without even knowing it. If our heart isn’t in it, not much is going to happen.

To live from the heart isn’t just an abstract ideal; it’s a practical approach that can transform our daily experience. When we come into our hearts, we tap into a source of inner wisdom that transcends logic. This doesn’t mean disregarding our intellect, but rather integrating it with the insights and guidance from our emotional core.

This article and the following, suggest practical ways we can start a life long journey of living from the heart:

The power…and limitations of the mind

From when we are small, we are taught to live from the head, the brain and not from the heart – at school we memorise facts and learn how things work. We are taught that knowledge is key to solving problems and making something of ourselves. Our society is built on competitiveness, and we recognise this early on in life – what mark did you get on that test? Is it better than your siblings or your classmates?  In our fast-paced, success-driven society, it’s easy to lose sight of what truly matters. We’re often caught up in the hustle, constantly chasing after goals, status, and material wealth. But amidst this whirlwind, there’s a quiet, profound wisdom that calls us to live differently. This wisdom invites us to live from our hearts.

Critical thinking enables us to form sound beliefs and judgments, and in doing so, provides us with a basis for a ‘rational and reasonable’ emotional life.Our minds are incredible tools. They help us solve problems, create strategies, and understand complex concepts. However, when we over-rely on our minds, we can become disconnected from our true selves. We might find ourselves:

• Overthinking: Constantly replaying scenarios and possibilities, leading to anxiety and stress.
• Self-Criticism: Judging ourselves harshly based on societal standards or past experiences.
• Analysis paralysis: Becoming so caught up in evaluating options that we struggle to make decisions.

While our minds can guide us in practical matters, they can also trap us in a cycle of worry and fear, preventing us from living fully and authentically.

What exactly does it mean to live from the heart?

1. Literally sensing your heart and chest

Taking a few minutes for yourself and just sitting or lying comfortably,maybe take a few slow deep breaths and simply place your hand on your heart. No, it is not sending you a message in Morse code! But placing your hand on your heart allows you to be more in touch with that wonderful organ that helps you feel your best and is strong enough to overcome even the worst situations you have ever found yourself in. By feeling your heart, you sync your brain with the rhythm of its beat, and you will be able to better understand the messages that the core of your being is sending to your brain.

Our bodies often communicate what our minds ignore. Notice how different situations and decisions make you feel physically. A sense of peace and excitement usually indicates alignment with your heart’s desires, while tension and discomfort might signal misalignment.

A mindfulness practice helps quiet the mind and brings awareness to the present moment. By meditating or engaging in mindful activities like yoga or walking, we create space for our heart’s voice to emerge.

2. Finding encouragement in what is good both around you and inside you

It’s easy to feel hopeless and helpless when we read or listen to the daily news reports – living from the heart involves a conscious decision to focus instead on what is good and positive. Our brains are wired to take in the bad, and ignore the good. That’s why it’s easier to ruminate over bad things than to bask in the pleasure of the good things in life. Because of the brain’s negativity bias, we’ve evolved to learn quickly from bad experiences, and slowly from good ones. This leaves us feeling more stressed, anxious, lonely, irritated, and inadequate than we need to be.  Outside us, there is also the kindness in others, the beauty of a single leaf, the stars that still shine no matter what hides them. All over the world children are laughing in delight, families are sitting down to a meal, babies are being born, and loving arms are holding people who are dying. Inside each one of us, there is our compassion, sincere efforts, happy memories, capabilities – and much more. 

3. Being courageous, whole-hearted and strong-hearted

Rick Hanson, psychologist and best selling author says that far from being a bit wet and weedy, living from the heart involves a lot of courage – inner strength, going forward wisely, even when anxious, knowing your own truth and, as you can, speaking it. When we take heart, we are more able to deal with challenges like aging, illness, trauma, or conflicts with others. We are also more able to take advantage of opportunities with confidence and grit.

My next article will continue this theme and suggest another 7 ways that we can start to live from the heart.

Need some advice and support?

If you are struggling with any of the issues raised in this article, or indeed any other emotional issues or life challenges and would like to talk things over in complete confidentiality, contact me:

See also: Mindfulness and Compassion, Tools of Self-Compassion, Feeling down and disheartened? Read John O’Donohue!