This is the second in a series of articles about families and focuses on the impact of a dysfunctional family. Nobody has a “perfect” childhood, but some families function in healthier ways than others. Broadly speaking, a dysfunctional family is characterised by unhealthy patterns of communication, conflict, and behaviour that…
My next series of blogs look at one of the issues that brings many people to counselling - handling tricky relationships with families or with individual family members. This blog looks at both functional (good enough!) and dysfunctional families. Future blogs will consider the long-lasting impact of dysfunctional families and…
I’ve called this blog When an Apology isn’t Enough in order to show that whereas a good heartfelt apology can repair and make a relationship even stronger, that is, sadly, not always the case. What about more serious betrayals and situations where we have to accept that the other person…
When we lack the ability to say we’re sorry, minor offences eventually accumulate enough weight to sink our relationships. But the simple act of apologising can re-establish goodwill - even when we or the other person have committed much more serious offences, caused a lot of hurt. But an apology…
Traditional views about men and courage This is the second of two blogs looking at courage, and this looks specifically at men and courage. In recent times, more attention has been turned towards what it really means for men to show courage: When we think of courageous acts, we often…
What IS courage? It wasn't until I sat down to write a blog about courage, that I realised that I wasn't 100% sure how I would define it. And surprisingly, there didn’t seem to be an awful lot of guidance online. However I came across some lovely quotes - by…
This blog looks at overcoming anger and bitterness, and also how and why bitterness can lead to long lasting anxety and depression. My previous blog looked at anger as a normal and healthy emotion, a signal that something is wrong or unjust, motivating individuals to address issues, set boundaries, or…
This is the first in a series of blogs about the dangers of anger and bitterness - how they play out in our lives and in our relationships, how they can negatively impact us and how to avoid getting sucked into the destructive and addictive cycles that they can cause. …
This follows on from my previous blog and looks at a few more ways to live from the heart. Click here to see steps 1 to 3. To live from the heart isn't just a corny concept or an abstract ideal; it's a practical approach that can transform our daily…
Head vs heart What does it mean to live from the heart? I know it may sound a little corny, but most of the time, we are so caught up in what’s going on in our heads that we forget about our emotional selves. And that can cause us to…
STOP - you’re being neurotic! How can we go about embracing the neurotic lifestyle? The word “neurotic” can conjure images of a certain type of psychotherapy: Woody Allen types splayed out on long divans, with Freudian therapists sitting coolly behind them, asking vague questions about Oedipal complexes. Psychology’s come a…
Stop - you’re being neurotic! How do we go about embracing the inner neurotic? Shouldn't we try to suppress it? The word “neurotic” makes me smile - it conjures up either the Woody Allen character in the above image (Alvy Singer in Annie Hall), Monica from Friends, George from Seinfield…