This follows on from my previous blog and looks at a few more ways to live from the heart. Click here to see steps 1 to 3. To live from the heart isn’t just a corny concept or an abstract ideal; it’s a practical approach that can transform our daily experience. When we come into our hearts, we tap into a source of inner wisdom that transcends logic. This doesn’t mean disregarding our intellect, but rather integrating it with the insights and guidance from our emotional core.

4. Heart to heart in relationships

Although it may take a lot of courage, if we approach someone with an open heart, he or she will feel it and will most likely return a similar energy to us. That’s how relationships are born, one open heart reaching out and touching another. 

How can we go about this?

• Ground yourself in good intentions, whatever they may be. To discover and express the truth. To help yourself and the other person.
• Get a basic sense of what you want to say. Focus on your experience: thoughts, feelings, body sensations, wants, memories, images, the dynamic flow through awareness. It’s hard to argue with your experience, but easy to get into wrangles about situations, events, the past, or problem-solving.
• Be confident. Have faith in your sincerity, and in the truth itself. Recognize that others may not like what you have to say, but you have a right to say it without needing to justify it, and that saying it is probably good for your relationship.

When you speak:

• Take a breath and settle into your body.
• Recall being with people who care about you. (This will help deepen your sense of inner strength, and warm up the neural circuits of wholeheartedness.)
• Soften your throat, eyes, chest, and heart. Try to find a sense of goodwill, even compassion, for the other person.
• Bring to mind what you want to say.
• Take another breath, and start speaking.
• Try to stay in touch with your experience as you express it. Don’t get into any sense of persuasion, justification, defensiveness, or problem-solving. (That’s for later, if at all.) Be direct and to the point: When people truly speak from the heart, they often say what needs to be said in a few minutes or less; it’s the “case” they build up and wrap around the heart of the matter that takes all those extra words.
• Keep coming back to the essential point for you, whatever it is (especially if the other person gets reactive or tries to shift the topic). And feel free to disengage if the other person is just not ready to hear you; maybe another time would be better. “Success” here is not getting the other person to change, but you expressing yourself.
• As appropriate, open to and encourage the other person to speak from the heart, too.
• And afterward: Know that whatever happened, you did a good thing. It’s brave and it’s hard (especially at first) to speak from the heart. But so necessary to make this world a better place.

5. When times are tough, stay with the experience

When we experience tough times, as much as we may want to escape, living from the heart means that best we can, we stay with the raw experience, the body sensations, the deep feelings, the stirred up fears and anger and perhaps paralysis.  Be mindful of whatever is passing through the big open space of awareness, observing it without being flooded by it. Painful and counter intuitive as it may be, this is the foundation of releasing really hard experiences and replacing them gradually and authentically with thoughts and feelings that are helpful, wholesome, wise, and even happy.

6. Find things that help in the moment

This means whatever helps us to come back to our centre, and find our footing. That could mean prioritising exercise, sleep, and meditation. Rick Hanson suggests that we try to feel the truth of being basically alright right now, in this moment, moment after moment (alongside and deeper than pain or sorrow); Do the dishes and make the bed. Walk the dog, call a friend, eat something, look at trees and sky, get a cup of tea and stare into space. 

7. Guard your attention and keep some perspective

It’s one thing to stay well informed and to form the best plans you can. It’s another thing to get distracted or upset by news or other people that do not add any useful value. So be careful what you focus on but at the same time…have perspective! Rick Hanson says “Without minimising one bit of whatever is awful, it is also true that humans like you and I have been walking this earth for nearly 300,000 years. I see the trees, the land, the ocean – all of it here before me and lasting long after me. Empires rise and fall. Sometimes the center does not hold – in a body, marriage, or nation – and still. And still people love each other, go out of their way for a stranger, and marvel at a rainbow. Nothing, nothing at all can change this. We keep putting one foot in front of the other one, lifting each other up along the way.” 

8. Cultivate Compassion

Part of living from the heart means that we treat ourselves with the same kindness and understanding we would offer a loved one. Recognise that being human involves making mistakes and experiencing a range of emotions. Self-compassion opens the heart and fosters inner healing.

9. Practice gratitude

Similarly, focusing on what you are grateful for shifts our perspective from lack to abundance. It opens our heart to the beauty and blessings in our lives, fostering a sense of contentment and love.

And finally…

10. Embrace the journey!

In a world dominated by logic, reason, and endless streams of information, it’s easy to get trapped in our heads. We analyse, strategise, and plan, all while often neglecting the quiet, powerful voice of our hearts. This journey—transitioning from living predominantly in our minds to embracing the wisdom of our hearts—is one of the most profound and transformative shifts we can make. Here’s why it matters and how to embark on this path. Transitioning from head to heart is not a one-time event but a lifelong journey. It requires patience, practice, and a willingness to confront our deepest fears and desires. However, the rewards are immeasurable. By living from our hearts, we align with our true selves, foster deeper connections, and create a life filled with purpose and joy.

In embracing this journey, we learn that the heart’s wisdom is not a contradiction to the mind’s logic but a complementary force that, when harmonised, leads to a richer, more authentic existence. So, take a deep breath, quiet your mind, and listen to the whispers of your heart. 

Helpful resources: 

Some talks by the wonderful Rick Hanson:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1eY0m9UIGk   Rick Hanson on Gratitude 

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfVQimXsrlA   Rick Hanson on “A powerful way to stay rested in the heart”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4ZS-tc4KLU   Rick Hanson on “Growing a steady mind, straong heart and inner peace”

Need some advice and support?

If you are struggling with any of the issues raised in this article, or indeed any other emotional issues or life challenges and would like to talk things over in complete confidentiality, contact me:

See also: Live from the Heart, Burnout and Kindness, Self-Compassion