This is my second blog which looks at the topic of generational trauma – this examines how generational trauma affects us. The concept of generational trauma is still in the early days of being understood and researched – but it is widely accepted that it occurs through biological, environmental, psychological, and social means. Individuals who experienced adverse childhood experiences growing up, or who survived historical disasters or traumas, may pass the effects of those traumas on to their children and subsequent generations of their family through their genes, their behaviour, or both.

This can leave the next generation susceptible to emotional health challenges. Some possible effects may be:

1. Emotional dysregulation: Individuals impacted by generational trauma can struggle with managing their emotions. They may experience heightened anxiety, depression, or anger, which can be linked to the unresolved trauma of previous generations.
2. Difficulty with relationships: People may struggle to form healthy, trusting relationships. This can result from learned behaviours from a parent or grandparent, such as avoidance, codependency, or emotional withdrawal.
3. Addiction: Often, when a family has a history of using substances to cope with unresolved emotional pain, it can become normalised in the next generation. Individuals may turn to drugs, alcohol, or other harmful coping mechanisms to deal with their emotions.
4. Low self-esteem: Generational trauma can impact an individual’s sense of self. Feelings of shame, guilt, and worthlessness can persist, especially if a family has a history of neglect or emotional abuse.
5. Physical health issues: Studies suggest that trauma can even affect an individual’s physical health. Stress-related illnesses, such as autoimmune diseases, heart disease, or chronic pain, are more likely in individuals who have experienced generational trauma.
6. Disconnection from cultural roots: Generational trauma can cause individuals to disconnect from their cultural practices or history, especially if those practices are tied to painful memories of historical events, such as war or colonisation. This may lead to confusion over identity, for an individual.

How can we heal from generational trauma?

Healing from generational trauma is not an overnight process, and it requires compassion, understanding, and patience. However, there are several steps that individuals and families can take to begin healing:

1. Acknowledging the trauma: The first step to healing is recognising and acknowledging the trauma. This may involve speaking with a therapist, understanding the history of trauma in our family, and confronting painful emotions that have been buried for years.
2. Building healthy relationships: Healing from generational trauma often requires developing healthier relationships with others. By forming supportive connections, setting boundaries, and practicing open communication, individuals can begin to break the cycle of unhealthy relationships that may have been modelled to them.
3. Breaking the Silence: It’s important to stop the cycle of silence around trauma. By discussing the trauma openly, families can begin to heal together. Sharing stories can help create empathy, understanding, and mutual support.
4. Cultural reclamation: Reconnecting with one’s cultural roots or heritage can be an important step in healing. Engaging in cultural practices, rituals, and traditions can provide a sense of identity, belonging, and healing for those affected by generational trauma.
5. Self-Care and Compassion: Healing from trauma is hard work, and it requires self-compassion. Individuals must learn to treat themselves with care and patience, taking time for self-care and prioritising their mental and emotional well-being.

Gabor Maté and the effects of generational trauma

The work of renowned addiction and trauma expert Gabor Maté has spoken and written extensively on generational trauma – born on 1943, in Nazi-occupied Hungary, his Jewish mother, whose parents died in Auschwitz, gave up Gabor when he was an infant. He says: “I’m 11 months of age and, to save my life – literally to save my life – she hands me to a total stranger, Christian woman in the streets, and says, ‘Please take this baby… to some relatives who are in hiding, because I can’t keep him alive….I survived, thanks to the kindness and courage of the unknown Christian woman to whom my mother entrusted me in the street and who conveyed me to relatives living in hiding, under relatively safer circumstances.”

He says that trauma, felt at such a young age, is remembered by the body. “I [as a baby] experience that the world is a dangerous place. That’s downloaded into my nervous system… So I grow up with that unconscious sense of fear of abandonment and having to prove the value of my existence. I can’t be valuable on my own, otherwise [my mother] wouldn’t have given me away.”

He is clear that our understanding of the effects of trauma is still limited, including in the field of medicine:  “Well, first of all they don’t [understand trauma]. They think of it as maybe a tsunami or a bombing. Those are certainly traumatic events, but that’s how most people think of trauma, as something horrendous happening. They don’t think of it as an internal psychic wound that then limits their capacity to live as fully as they might, which is what trauma actually is. Worse than that, the average medical student doesn’t even hear the word ‘trauma’ in their education. They don’t hear the word! It’s not that they don’t get a lecture on it, they don’t hear the word, not in the sense that I’m talking about it.”

In terms of healing from the effects of generational trauma, he is encouraging, having spent a lifetime on his own recovery path: “All these stuff that we’re carrying can be unpleasant, scary… as much as we judge ourselves for having these issues, if we approach ourselves with some genuine curiosity about what it’s all about and with some compassion, it can be tremendously liberating. So if you’ve begun that, continue it. And there are many paths. Also, honour your body. Make sure you eat well and get out into nature and exercise. Do body work like Yoga, martial arts or something else. Align your psyche with your body and get to know them both.”

The Four A’s

In his book The Myth of Normal, Gabor Maté posits the following four techniques as a way to work through trauma: Awareness, Authenticity, Acceptance (embrace the present,  Agency (champion your own healing) and healthy Anger. 

For more information, see this article: .”https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/apr/12/the-trauma-doctor-gabor-mate-on-happiness-hope-and-how-to-heal-our-deepest-wounds   and his book The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté & Daniel Maté and The Wisdom of Trauma by Gabor Maté 

Need some advice and support?

If you are struggling with any of the issues raised in this article, or indeed any other emotional issues or life challenges and would like to talk things over in complete confidentiality, contact me:

See also: Generational Trauma, Dysfunctional Families, The Impact of a Dysfunctional Family