People often ask me if I can recommend any books about mental health, and as the last twenty years or so has seen a positive outpouring of new books on the "personal development” and “psychology” shelves of the bookshop, it can be hard to know where to start. I would…
Mental health challenges manifest in all sorts of ways - we might feel miserable, unmotivated, or just plain stuck. Or struggle to manage anxiety, a sense of dread in the pit of our stomach when we wake up. Goals we once dreamed of (the perfect job, partner, owning a home) …
This is the second of two articles about scapegoating within the family and looks in more detail at the potentially catastrophic effects of scapegoating, and then at healing from scapegoating. To give an idea of how scapegoating (or being labelled and treated as the “black sheep of the family”) can…
What is scapegoating? This is a blog following my theme of “dysfunctional families” and looks at the phenomenon of scapegoating - where a single family member becomes the ‘scapegoat’, “black sheep” or “problem child.” Sometimes this role can be passed between family members, but more often, one person is given…
This is my second blog which looks at the topic of generational trauma - this examines how generational trauma affects us. The concept of generational trauma is still in the early days of being understood and researched - but it is widely accepted that it occurs through biological, environmental, psychological,…
Intergenerational, transgenerational or simply generational trauma refers to the transmission of trauma between generations of a family. Generational trauma occurs through biological, environmental, psychological, and social means. Individuals who experienced adverse childhood experiences growing up, or who survived historical disasters or traumas, may pass the effects of those traumas on…
How does an individual get to the stage where he or she feels that the only option open to him/her, is cutting family ties? This is part of a series of blogs about dysfunctional families. What happens when an individual simply cannot continue to have relationships with one or more…
This is the third in a series of articles about living in, surviving in and healing from the effects of a dysfunctional family. This focusses on the importance of setting boundaries in a dysfunctional family. First of all, it’s important to say that there is no such thing as a…
This is the second in a series of articles about families and focuses on the impact of a dysfunctional family. Nobody has a “perfect” childhood, but some families function in healthier ways than others. Broadly speaking, a dysfunctional family is characterised by unhealthy patterns of communication, conflict, and behaviour that…
My next series of blogs look at one of the issues that brings many people to counselling - handling tricky relationships with families or with individual family members. This blog looks at both functional (good enough!) and dysfunctional families. Future blogs will consider the long-lasting impact of dysfunctional families and…
I’ve called this blog When an Apology isn’t Enough in order to show that whereas a good heartfelt apology can repair and make a relationship even stronger, that is, sadly, not always the case. What about more serious betrayals and situations where we have to accept that the other person…
When we lack the ability to say we’re sorry, minor offences eventually accumulate enough weight to sink our relationships. But the simple act of apologising can re-establish goodwill - even when we or the other person have committed much more serious offences, caused a lot of hurt. But an apology…